Opportunities

On this Daddy's Blues Wednesday, instead of a long post today I just wanted to share a thought with you taken from an excerpt of my forthcoming book "Ode To Sons".  

"Sons, at some point in our life, we are all given an opportunity for new beginnings.  It could be the birth of a child, enrolling in school, graduating from school, getting married, being baptized, or even just a new day.  Whatever your new beginning may be, the one thing it is not is an opportunity for you to waste.  I have wasted some new beginnings, and like any rationale human being, I regret some of the opportunities I had to open up a new chapter with a bang.  New beginnings don’t erase the past, but they do give new meaning to the future." 

Are you taking advantage of your new opportunities to overcome the shadows of your past?  Or are you simply allowing your opportunities to become another shadow of the past?    

Just Me

Your Best Gift Shouldn’t be Yours

“Half of something is a whole lot more than all of nothing”-Just Me

Yes today is Motivation Monday, and I was contemplating which angle I would take.  I ended up talking to one of my brothers from another mother, Chuck, and it just clicked.  We were conversing about my upcoming plans of starting my Sports & Entertainment Management company.  I was sharing with him my business philosophy.  I explained to him that some people are content with doing everything on their own, but my philosophy about that has always been different.

                I’m a firm believer that in order to succeed in life, you can’t make a go at it alone.  So many times we go into ventures or projects thinking that all we need is a dream and our own potential.  If you have ever read anything I’ve posted, then you know I’m one of the biggest dream chasers.  In the same manner, I’m very aware of the God-given potential and abilities I’ve been blessed with.  With that being said, I still know that my dreams in life can’t be accomplished with me being a team of one.

                I innocently bought my son a Thomas the Train model while on vacation recently.  He suddenly grew an affinity towards the train.  He sleeps with it, eats with it, bathes with it, and he even takes it to church with him.  He loves that little train, and he will let you know it in a second.  If anyone, old or young, looks at him while he’s playing with the train he will exclaim “My Train”, or “Mine”.  He will do this until the person stops looking or leaves.  It’s sad, but we as adults often take on this same mentality when it comes to achievement in life.  So many times we think we’ve found a gold mine and then want to hide it.  We go back to the childish exclamation of “mine, mine, mine”.  That was my idea, and no I will not share anything with you.   We feel as if nobody deserves to have any of what I got.  Check your news channel and you will see how this plays out in society in general.  We hover in a corner and say, “well I got mine, now go get yours”.  The problem with that thinking is that, it took someone to help you get there, and it’s going to take someone to help you stay there.

                In order to attain new and improved levels of success, we have to move from the thinking that we can do it all alone.  Every dreamer in life had to have someone (s) to help them live out their dream.  If it wasn’t for other people, MLK would’ve just been a great speaker from Georgia.  We have to learn to surround ourselves with people that can challenge us and make us better.  When we do that, we are able to reach further than imaginable, and at the same time we help somebody else reach a dream they never knew existed.  I am a strong believer that half of a million dollars, is a whole lot more than all of ten thousand dollars.  Yet some of us would rather take the $10,000 and say I did it.  Rather than taking the $500,000 and saying “We did it”.   It’s time for us to move beyond the selfish mentality if we truly want to meet our goals in life.

There are people around that can help you reach that goal, but you have to willing to move from the mindset of a 2-year old to that of an adult wanting to achieve in life.  If your personal gifts are the best you have to offer your dreams then you are selling yourself short.   You will probably never have all that it takes to achieve your goal, but I guarantee that there are people with a little bit of everything you need to get to where you want to be.  It’s time to build a team, and to reach for what you’ve always wanted.

Here are my 5 recommendations to help you move in the right direction with the right people on your team:

1.       Surround yourself with people that know a lot about stuff you know nothing about.

2.       Be willing to relinquish some of the power.  You don’t need all of the power, you just want to enjoy turning your dream into a reality.

3.       Be honest with your team about your dream, and your inability to reach your dream alone.

4.       Kindly part ways with team members that stop dreaming.  Never burn bridges in the process, you never know when you might need to cross again.

5.       When you reach the top, never forget to take everybody that helped out with you.  Even the teammates you had to dismiss earlier.

Dreams Detoured

“Like a crack head and his pipe, dream chasers can’t be separated from their dreams”- Just Me

                On this past weekend, I read a comment on my Facebook that I can easily relate to.  The comment centered on the writer’s frustration with chasing her dream, but it seems like the dream just won’t come to fruition.  I asked her a few questions, and her reply was pretty on point.  Seeing her frustration with her dream still being so far off, I offered her encouragement based on my personal experiences.

One of the main issues that dream chasers face is that not everyone catches your fire about your dreams as you do.  One of the main reasons that they don’t is because your dream is YOUR dream.  The truth is, most people won’t catch on until you are clearly on your way to achieving your dream.  Prior to that, people will doubt you, say you should focus on something else, or simply tell you to get real and now is just not the time.

If you are like me, then this boils your skin because you know your potential and where you want to be in life.  It may be unclear to others where you are going, it might not be that clear to you, but you know what things will be like once you get to where you are going.  One of the craziest things about dreams is that even though you can explain it to people, unless they experience it for themselves, they will never truly understand your dream.  People may not see all the turns on your map, but they will know when you have arrived at your destination.

I’m a firm believer that no dream is meant to be put on life’s shelf for later.  At the very least, you should be putting together the pieces as time passes on.  The problem with things that are put on a shelf is that you tend to forget about them, or you just simply lose interest.  True dream chasers are addicted to accomplishing their dream.  Nobody can pacify you with subpar replacements.  In your mind there is no detour that should be taken. 

So here’s my declaration to all my fellow dream chasers: Chase your dreams, like your life depends on it.  In all honesty, your sanctity and happiness in life does depend on it.  Those you want to understand your dream may never do so.  That investor you are hoping for might only come once your dream is becoming a reality.  That support system you depended on might suddenly collapse.  But like a crack head and his pipe, dream chasers can’t be separated from their dreams. 

I want to leave you with 5 tips to help you in this journey, from one dream chaser to another:

1.       Don’t EVER stop chasing your dream.

2.       Surround yourself with like-minded people (Other Dream Chasers)

3.       Accept that people might not understand now, but they will later.

4.       As you go through the process, evaluate each step and learn from your mistakes.

5.       Celebrate each milestone; it will keep your motivated.

Free, but forever in Shackles: Why Casey Anthony will suffer as a Free Woman

“A mother’s God-given love is so strong, it will drive her insane when misplaced”- Just me

                As a young law student, I have slowly gained a very deep appreciation for “all things law”.  I found myself using legal jargon in my Public Speaking Engagements.  In my circle of friends and family, I’m usually asked a legal question or two.  My ears and eyes perk up when I hear/see something related to the legal field.  I can honestly say that nothing dominated my attention like that of the last 47 days.

                If you were like me then you had the internet, tv, and radio tuned in to what was going on from 8:30am until…. on the 23^rd floor of the Orange County Courthouse in Orlando, FL.  We watched days of evidence being presented.  We saw days that were emotionally draining.  We saw days when there was animated sparring between Attorneys Baez and Ashton.  We witnessed Chief Judge Belvin Perry command and demand control of his courtroom.  We all speculated as we saw Casey go from an innocent puppy-faced young lady, to a stoic “I’ll cut your throat” look in the blink of an eye.  We all paid attention to the varying opinions of legal experts, pundits, and common folk.  I, you, me, and us all had our opinion of what would, or should, happen at the end of trial.

                Then it came out that at 2:15pm the verdict would be rendered.  As I sat in front of my computer in between meetings, my raced back to over 15 years ago when we waited for the verdict in the OJ Simpson trial.  Then the words few people anticipated rang out across the nation. We the jury….. find the defendant, Casey…. NOT GUILTY.  My heart immediately began to sink.  For a moment I felt what those against OJ felt.   Yet in this situation I felt an even stronger pain because little Caylee is gone and we will NEVER know what happened to her.

                Sure, there is enough blame to go around: Casey and her lying arse.  Maybe the prosecution sought the wrong charge.  Maybe Baez helped a true criminal get off.  Blame aside, the fact remains that Caylee is gone, and for some reason her Mother refuses to do anything but lie about what happened to one of the greatest blessings a human can be blessed with.

                After putting my emotions and feelings aside, I’ve come to the conclusion that although Casey was acquitted by a jury of her “peers”, she will be forever in shackles as a free woman.  Let me dispel any preconceived notions you may have.  This post isn’t about “judging” Casey.  If you read my blog then you know that I don’t do that.  This is more about living a life chained, until you set yourself free.

                Going with Casey’s “present truth”, Caylee drowned in the household pool.  Yet during this time Casey partied and acted as if she really had a “beautiful life”.  She concocted stories that were extremely outrageous.  She kept her family, law enforcement, and the public at bay while she enjoyed her “beautiful life”.  The problem is that the rooster will come home to crow.

                I could talk about public scrutiny.  I could talk about how her social life will suffer.  I could talk about how she will probably never have a good family life anymore.  I could talk about how she probably won’t find willful employment, even though she won’t need it.  But I want to go a little deeper.  As a person that’s tried to hide my own guilt in the past, it is guaranteed that Casey will be shackled until the truth is known.  Am I advocating that she must get in front of the TV and confess to the world what happened?  That would be great, but I don’t believe it’s necessary.  I do advocate that Casey will have to deal with God for her negligence, and the impending lies that she gave to cover it up.  If anything she accused her brother and father of is untrue, Casey will be shackled until she redeems their names.  Even if all else fails, Casey will forever be shackled by the cloud of guilt.  As a parent, you are responsible for the life and well-being of your child.  Even if Casey didn’t kill her daughter, she was still responsible for reporting her daughter’s death.  Her daughter is dead, and there is nothing an attorney, judge, or jury can do to acquit her of her negligence in being a responsible human being and parent by not telling someone about what happened. A mother's natural love will eventually take over this young lady.  She will eventually realize how the lies and negligence ruined the memory of her greatest gift.   Casey might be free from jail, but the shackles of Caylee’s death will be with her forever.

God help us all to avoid unnecessary shackles!

Just me