October 3, 2008 changed my life forever. I can only imagine that it was similar to what another Anthony J Albury experienced on January 10, 1981. I can remember sitting in the L&D watching the hospital workers prep my wife for her C-section. I was anxious, nervous, excited, scared, and a host of other emotional and rational adjectives. I had thought about this day for over 9 months. As the staff wheeled my wife into the operating room, they told me to sit in a chair and wait for them to come get me. It felt like hours passed before they said, “Ok, you can come in now”. As I walked into the OR I realized that I was moving from a son to a father. I can remember holding my wife’s hand, and listening to the sounds of the delivery room. I had my camera around my neck in anticipation of that first picture of my new blessing. Nine months of preparation and waiting ceased in less than 3 minutes as our doctor picked him up and said, “ok dad snap away”. At that moment the whole earth stood still in my mind. My hands seemed heavy and I couldn’t pick up my camera. Seconds seemed like hours as I tried to take one picture of my son. So many thoughts ran through my head. Am I going to be a good father? Will I be able to provide? I have my own issues that I don’t want to pass to this innocent offspring of mine. I was finally able to snap a picture. The nurses then wiped him off and told me I could come over and see him as they stitched up my wife. As I walked over to the table my knees started to buckle as I peered into his eyes. As my son struggled to determine shapes and the voices around him, I started to shape his future and the magnitude of becoming his voice changed my life instantly. I knew from that moment that I would do everything possible to always be there for him. I lost my dad to a stroke, 9 years prior to that, and all I could think about was what could have been if my Dad had not passed and how many boys/men have been denied the opportunity to be reared by their fathers. My son will be 3 this year, and I'm still overwhelmed by the level of love that I have for him. It's often said that FATHERHOOD is a responsibility and not a privilege but I say it's both. I'm enjoying watching my son grow into a little gentlemen and learning so much about myself in the process.
Just Me
*Father and Son*
Thanks for sharing a father's perspective at birth. It's refreshing to hear from a real person about a father also undergoes some emotional roller coasters at the birth of their children. Too often, emotions are overlooked if they aren't accompanied by tears.
ReplyDeleteKeep blogging, AJ.